Not the Bunny Man
by DarkAngelOfSorrowReturns
Summary: Blaise was not the bunny man. Nu-uh. Not now and not ever. Modern/Muggle!AU


Note: Modern/Muggle!AU

* * *

Blaise stared at the monstrosity in Theodore's hands with a horrified expression. He nearly dropped his glass because of it, so he set it on the shelf before 'nearly' became 'completely'.

"There's no way in hell I'm putting that on," he said, pointing a finger at the object clad in white fur and rainbow sequins.

Theodore held the suit up against his body, staring at it with a frown before meeting Blaise's eyes.

"Come on, mate," he said. "It won't kill you. It's important to the kids you know."

Blaise waved a dismissive hand. "It's not that important. _That_ shouldn't be that important."

Theodore gave Blaise a blank look. It was clear from the expression he sported that he was not a fan of Blaise's response to the outfit.

"It's not a bad as you think, and no one will be the wiser that it's you in the suit. There's even that voice device to adjust your tone," Theodore reasoned.

"Nu-uh. No. I will be the wiser that I'm in the monkey suit," Blaise retorted.

"It's a bunny suit."

"Same difference."

"That makes no sense, Blaise."

"Neither is you trying to make me the Easter Bunny."

Theodore sighed, shaking his head. "You see how happy those children are outside. Just imagine how much you'll make their day by hopping out there with them."

Blaise glowered, eyeing the bunny suit in distaste. "Why can't Draco do this?"

"Because we're using him as a distraction for the women outside, remember? Someone had to keep them occupied long enough not to notice us adding the whiskey to our cups."

The Italian rubbed the back of his neck. "That's right…" he shook his head. "I do not want to do this," he said. "I'm sure that Draco won't have to distract them much longer so he can do it."

Theodore shook his head once more. "The fact that you think that Draco is the best one to be the Easter Bunny is insulting."

"The fact that you're trying to put me in the monkey suit is insulting," Blaise shot back.

Theodore pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine, fine. I'll do it. But believe me, you're getting your ass in one of these costumes for the children one day."

Blaise snorted. "I'll take my chances."

He watched as Theodore left with the bunny suit down the hall, no doubt preparing himself to get dressed and entertain the kiddos. When Theodore was out of sight, Blaise grabbed the cup of whiskey he'd set on the shelf and took a sip from it. He knew that the Easter Bunny was going to be a big thing for the kids, but he was _not_ the Easter Bunny. Blaise couldn't be paid enough to be the Easter Bunny.

Blaise looked out the window, watching the kids running around the grounds with baskets. He could see their mothers at one of the tables with Draco in the middle seat, engrossed in whatever conversation they were having.

Easter wasn't his favourite time of the year, but it was always entertaining to see the children trying to find as many eggs and candy pieces they could. Of course, there was always the competition of which one was dressed the best. No one said it aloud, but Blaise knew better. They were part of an elite society; there was always a hidden competition.

Nevertheless, the toothy grin of his daughter was what made his day. That and when he got away with spiking his drink. Thinking of both of those, Blaise glanced back down the hallway Theodore had trekked through. He knew his friend was right about entertaining the kids, but Blaise was not the bunny man.

He was going to check on Theodore and make sure the suit wasn't giving him too much trouble–the thing did look ghastly–but he was stopped when said suit was approaching him itself. A laugh escaped Blaise before he could stop himself.

"My God, man," he said. "Seeing it in this state only solidified my feelings about the thing." He went to pat the top of the bunny's head, but Theodore swatted him away with the bunny's paw.

"You are definitely getting into the next suit," Theodore hissed underneath the bunny's head. He cleared his throat and started making his way to the entrance to the grounds.

Blaise was right on his tail, taking out his phone in his pocket. "You are definitely not living this down, mate," he said as he took a picture.

Theodore raised his paw, and Blaise was pretty sure he had just flipped him the bird. That made this much more amusing. He stepped in front of Theodore, getting the door for the bunny man and cupping his mouth when Theodore stepped through.

"Hey, kiddos, look who I found hopping around in the manor!" he called out.

The children stopped running after each other, their curious eyes widening at the sight of the bunny. With big grins, they dashed for Theodore, who engaged the children who bombarded him with questions and prodded his sequined vest.

Blaise slipped past them to sit with the women and Draco, sighing with content.

"I was sure that Theodore said he was going to talk to you about putting on the suit," his wife mused with a smirk.

Blaise snorted and sipped from his glass. "Pansy, you should have known that I was not touching that thing with an inch of my body," he replied.

Her dark eyes danced with mischief. "I did," she said. "Though its importance to your daughter and godchildren should have made a difference, don't you think?"

"Absolutely not."

Draco snorted himself and shook his head. With Astoria right there, Blaise knew that Draco wasn't going to comment on the suit much unless he wanted to be the next victim of being the children's main entertainment at the next gathering.

Blaise watched as Theodore hopped around for the children, and they eagerly followed his lead. He knew there was no chance in hell that he would have put on that suit, no matter its significance, but it didn't mean he couldn't smile while the children enjoyed this part of the holiday.

* * *

A/N: Written for The Houses Competition and HSWW (Challenges and Assignments)

(THC) House: Gryffindor; Year/Position: Year 3 Stand-In; Category: Additional (1,000-3,000 words); Prompt: A happy occasion, [Event] Easter

(HSWW) Assignment #9 Sex Ed Task 1: write about someone refusing something significant

Word Count: 1,029


End file.
